Whether you are currently a happily employed professional or find yourself in the midst of a job search, the fact of being a professional does not make you any less human or divorce you from your emotions. The social sciences, especially economics, have time and again demonstrated that though some theories are based on rational behavior, the way humans act in the real world is anything but. We are emotional creatures and that’s ok. It’s what we do with our emotions that matters most. This is true both in life and in the job search.
I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to be a robot to be a successful job seeker. I would like you to give yourself permission to feel what you are going to feel as a valid and often necessary part of the job search process. There are both beneficial and harmful ways in which your emotions can influence your job search. In working with clients, I often ask them what came up for them while completing tasks I assigned, or in the form of general check-ins as our work and their job search progresses. The point is to validate how they are feeling, explore and address it, and see how it can be used for the benefit of the search, or modified to support success.
Here are two scenarios where emotions can have an import impact on the job search process.
Emotions in Initiating a Job Search
One of my recent clients approached me wrestling with the dilemma of whether or not she should begin looking for a new job. She works in non-profit and has been with the same organization for over seven years after graduate school. Overall, she has had a wonderful experience with this employer, including having been promoted to a program manager role with both fiscal and personnel responsibilities. When we met, she had recently experienced some bureaucratic challenges that called into question how much the organization valued her as an employee. This was an impactful event that left her feeling undervalued. That’s powerful.
In talking through her decision process and weighing her options, there were truly many benefits to her staying put. However, what was significant is that her view of and allegiance to her employer had changed. Her emotions were no longer in the same place and she was concerned that this might impact her work. So, what next?
Emotional Check-In:
In this or other scenarios ask yourself, “is this emotion staying with me and growing stronger, or is it fleeting and/or situation dependent?” The answer to this will help you determine if the emotion is something you can manage or if it will grow to impact you and your work over time. As professionals, we are all called upon to execute with excellence regardless of how we feel. I must point out that though this directive serves the company well in the short run, it will not serve anyone in the long run, especially you.
Another client I worked with had quit a corporate role in what he admitted was a rash manner. What was common between the two clients was the unshakeable emotional dissatisfaction with their employer. What differed was how they allowed this valid emotion to guide their actions. It is usually better to look for a new job while currently employed. If you find yourself feeling emotionally disconnected from your job, restless, bored, or angry — rather than jump ship, monitor your emotions and behavior to see if there is consistency and stability over time.
If you establish stability over time, ask yourself, “how long can I afford to pay the emotional withdrawals being taken by my employer?” In such a scenario, it may be best to craft a sound job search strategy to move on before your emotional resources are fully spent.
Emotions During the Job Search
There are myriad emotions experienced during the job search, but some of the most common relate to the frustration and hopelessness born of significant expenditure of effort with minimal returns. After going on several interviews and not receiving any offers, another client I worked with shared that she essentially felt “unemployable.” She was doing all of the right things to gain interviews, but the toll of not closing on any opportunities was wearing on her. This situation is a bit trickier because while a specific emotion can be valid -- your experience of the emotion is true -- it doesn’t necessarily make the content of the emotion true (i.e. being unemployable).
As partners, we had to work through identifying where the emotion was coming from and also assessing whether it was becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy with potentially negative effects on her interview performance.
Emotional Check-In:
You are not alone in feeling frustrated or even hopeless in the job search -- it is completely normal. In this or related situations, ask yourself, “is the feedback that the market is giving me true or have I simply just not found the right fit yet or made the necessary change(s) to achieve my goal?” In a job search, there is so much that we don’t control, such as who hires us, when, and for what reason. Paying attention to our emotions can sometimes lead us to discovering things that are within our control to change, for the benefit of our search.
Specifically, when it comes to interviewing, I always want my clients to feel like their “best self.” Showing up as less than that can have a negative effect on your performance. Your emotions can play a critical role in how you “show up” in both networking meetings and formal interviews. If you are questioning what you have to offer or if people are able to see your value, you may start to “leak” some of this insecurity during interviews, potentially leading to the undesired outcome.
It is important to validate your emotions while reframing your underlying thoughts. You cannot sell yourself effectively if you feel as though you have little to sell. Try to remind and refocus yourself on the success that has gotten you to where you are today and how your unique flavor of doing things got you there. Job searching is a lot like dating. If we married everyone we dated we’d all either be polygamists or serial divorcees. Great matches are out there, and being your best self will help bring them your way.
Emotions in the job search can lead to action when they help you discover internal barriers that may be holding you back and they can act as a catalyst for actions that will move you forward. Either way, it’s important to embrace and take stock of your emotions across the various phases of the job search. You are going to have emotions, so why not check in to see if they are telling you something?
If you would like to discuss how you can better manage your emotions while progressing in your job search, I’d love to support you! BOOK NOW for a free consultation.
niiato@avenircareers.com | Call/text 917-740-3048