Career Development

How Culture Impacts Talking About Your Achievements

How Culture Impacts Talking About Your Achievements

“Don’t boast, it’s not the right thing to do.”

These are the words I often heard from my late mother during my childhood whenever she thought I was feeling myself just a little too much. The irony of her instruction was the fact that she, objectively, had a lot that she could boast about without anyone giving her the side-eye. My mother was the first woman to serve as the Director-General of the Ghana Broadcasting Corporation. She was also the first woman chosen to run as a Vice Presidential candidate in Ghana’s political history.

Despite being a woman of many firsts, she was incredibly humble both by nature and by nurture of the collectivist and humility-led Ghanaian cultural context she grew up in. You would never catch her bragging and she taught me accordingly. To this day I feel awkward in the face of praise and uncomfortable when discussing my own achievements.

Does this feel/sound familiar to you?

Why You Need Your Own Advisory Board for Career Development

Why You Need Your Own Advisory Board for Career Development

I have a memory from when I was about 8 or 9 years old of being taught how to throw a football for distance by an older kid in my neighborhood. One summer in the small park in front of my apartment, this kid spent 20-30 minutes patiently showing me the arm motion, release point, and trajectory I needed to execute in order to throw the ball further than I could beforehand. I don’t share this story because I went to become a division 1 college quarterback, but because it’s one of my earliest memories of receiving helpful, informal external guidance that tangibly helped me improve an area of my life.

I honestly can’t recall if I ever saw that kid again after that day, but he had a lasting impact on me. I’ll bet you can remember at least one person like that in your life who, in their brief cameo in your story, made a dramatic difference in your thought, action, direction, or development. What if we could hold onto such people, or better yet, intentionally seek them out to add to our network so they become recurring, readily accessible characters, rather than single episode guests? This can and should be an intentional process for any professional as they network build professional relationships & friendships…

How to Trust Your Own Voice in Your Career Narrative

How to Trust Your Own Voice in Your Career Narrative

Whose voices are in your head when it comes to your career narrative and what are they saying?

Depending on our experiences to date, the composition of these voices can range from largely negative to mostly positive. Where we find ourselves along this continuum can be heavily influenced by our identities and intersections. Our identities, especially those that are visible, can play a strong role in influencing the nature of the messages we receive about ourselves both in life and work. For those of us holding one or more marginalized identities with regard to gender, race, LGBTQ status, or having a disability, the voices we have heard may have trended toward the negative.

In the career setting, these negative messages can infiltrate, influence, or even impede your own voice when it comes to telling your career story to advance or land a new role. These voices are the manifestation of systemic racism, sexism, homophobia, ableism, and more, that are ingrained in the corporate world.

This looks like my client who is an accomplished black professional with ~30 years in her field worrying about formal and informal performance feedback she’d received years ago impacting her ability to find a new job today -- in a new industry…

It’s Not Self-Promotion, It’s About Gaining Visibility

It’s Not Self-Promotion, It’s About Gaining Visibility

We all know that friend/acquaintance on social media who seems to be in 24/7 self-promotion mode. Every post or tweet broadcasts their latest achievement, exotic trip, or new purchase. Whether you love, hate, or tolerate what they're doing, they have achieved one main thing -- they have your attention and you know what they’re up to. When it comes to the professional setting, like it or not, similar rules apply. Those who have mastered the art of self-promotion are typically the ones who get ahead faster than those of us who, by nature and/or nurture, are less inclined or even disincentivized to bring attention to our success (POC & women) or even just our simple presence.

Unfortunately, hard work alone is not enough to earn promotion. The critical ingredient that those of us who try to “just keep our heads down and work” are missing, is visibility. If you consider the definition, ‘visibility’ works in two ways:

Why the Stories We Tell Ourselves Matter in the Job Search

Why the Stories We Tell Ourselves Matter in the Job Search

“If you don't believe you are worth it -- why would the person across the table?”

This was part of my comment on a great LinkedIn post shared by my friend and colleague, Nadia De Ala, CPCC, about salary negotiation, and it got me thinking more broadly about the stories we tell ourselves in the career space -- especially during the job search. By definition, job searching is rife with negative messages in the form of silence, outright rejections, & near-misses that progressively wear on our emotions and psyche. We have little control over the external narratives directed at us, but what happens when our internal narratives -- the stories we tell ourselves -- either are or become negative? Where do we go from there and how does that impact our process?

5 Reflections After My First Year in Practice

5 Reflections After My First Year in Practice

This wasn’t my plan. At the start of January 2019, I had no clue that four months later I would be launching my career coaching practice, Avenir Careers. I’ve experienced a lot of life in the past 5 years, and much of it has been quite difficult. I lost my mother to pancreatic cancer in 2016. I’ve gotten divorced, found love again, and remarried. In the midst of all of this, at the end of January 2019, I had to resign from my last full-time role for family reasons. It’s been a lot. Life comes at you fast sometimes and we are forced to adjust. This said, I’m honestly grateful for where it has brought me to today because I get to help people one-on-one, which is what I’ve wanted to do since my senior year of high school when I decided I wanted to be a psychologist. The path I took to arrive here has certainly been an interesting one, but it’s real, it’s part of my story, and it’s what makes me and what I have to offer unique.

In no particular order, here are a few lessons I’ve learned looking back on 1 year in business.

5 Reflections After My First Year in Practice

1. “...mais ce qui compte c’est pas la chute, c’est l’aterrissage.”

How to Work on Purpose - 3 Things to Consider

How to Work on Purpose - 3 Things to Consider

My wife is dope. Not just because I love her or that she’s an amazing clinical social worker & supervisor, but also because of how clear she is about her likes and dislikes both personally and professionally. There is a lot of power that comes when you can give clear and immediate “yes” or “no” responses in life regarding your preferences. During a recent conversation about some misgivings she has in her new role, she said something that really stuck with me, “I want to live on purpose.” In the context of her professional life, the dual meaning of that phrase became clear -- she wanted to work with: A) INTENTION and B) A DEFINED MISSION.

As we find ourselves in the midst of a global pandemic that has put life as we once knew it on an indefinite pause, now is perhaps the best possible time to evaluate for ourselves what it means for us as individuals to work on purpose.

Why Your Values Should Lead Your Job Search

Why Your Values Should Lead Your Job Search

I recently shared a post on LinkedIn that put forward 3 premises:

  1. Your personal life & career are not two separate things

  2. You are a whole person

  3. You don’t stop being a whole person when you are job searching

While these ideas might appear simple or even obvious, they merit stating because our modern socialization has caused us to lose sight of them. For better or worse, many professionals define their identity through their careers. Though I recognize that someone well placed in a career, doing what they love can derive a lot of satisfaction, I must push back from my holistic perspective to state that you are more than just your career. Life circumstances can change, market conditions, industry trends, your level of interest/passion, etc. -- when that happens, where does it leave the individual whose whole identity is inextricably linked to their career? Unfortunately, the answer for many is, lost.

One of the few guarantees in life and in work is that things will change. So, in the face of inevitable changes, you must be able to navigate life and career with something that stays relatively stable over time -- your values.

When It Comes to Networking, "Just Be a Person"

When It Comes to Networking, "Just Be a Person"

Depending on who you are, you will approach the concept of “networking” with various feelings and preconceived notions based in part on your personal experiences and your overall affinity (or lack thereof) for this critical professional advancement activity. A fundamental question that many job seekers are asking when it comes to networking is, “who/how should I be when I’m out in the world trying to network [to land a job]?” This question isn’t usually voiced overtly, but it underlies the many questions around how they should approach, frame, respond, react, and what they should say, do, expect, etc.,in various scenarios. You know how people occasionally ask you, “what is the best advice you have ever received on ___?” Well, if the fill-in-the-blank was networking, my answer would be:

“Just be a person.”

Networking Isn't Instant, But It's Worth It

Networking Isn't Instant, But It's Worth It

“Network,” they say...“expand it,” “tap into it,” “leverage it,” blah, blah, blah. You’ve repeatedly heard about the necessity of networking, but what often gets glossed over is the difficulty of the process and the medium to long-term nature of the results. Unfortunately, the way that networking is often discussed makes it seem as though it’s a simple, 1-2-3 process and then boom, someone puts you into an interview process and/or offers you a job. The problem with this framing is that it’s misleading and it leaves job seekers feeling frustrated, confused or even inadequate because their networking efforts are seemingly leading nowhere. This upsets me because I don’t want my clients or anyone taking on any more emotional stress than they need to in the already difficult job search process. So, let me correct the record… networking isn’t instant, but it’s worth it.