Networking

How Culture Impacts Talking About Your Achievements

How Culture Impacts Talking About Your Achievements

“Don’t boast, it’s not the right thing to do.”

These are the words I often heard from my late mother during my childhood whenever she thought I was feeling myself just a little too much. The irony of her instruction was the fact that she, objectively, had a lot that she could boast about without anyone giving her the side-eye. My mother was the first woman to serve as the Director-General of the Ghana Broadcasting Corporation. She was also the first woman chosen to run as a Vice Presidential candidate in Ghana’s political history.

Despite being a woman of many firsts, she was incredibly humble both by nature and by nurture of the collectivist and humility-led Ghanaian cultural context she grew up in. You would never catch her bragging and she taught me accordingly. To this day I feel awkward in the face of praise and uncomfortable when discussing my own achievements.

Does this feel/sound familiar to you?

Why You Need Your Own Advisory Board for Career Development

Why You Need Your Own Advisory Board for Career Development

I have a memory from when I was about 8 or 9 years old of being taught how to throw a football for distance by an older kid in my neighborhood. One summer in the small park in front of my apartment, this kid spent 20-30 minutes patiently showing me the arm motion, release point, and trajectory I needed to execute in order to throw the ball further than I could beforehand. I don’t share this story because I went to become a division 1 college quarterback, but because it’s one of my earliest memories of receiving helpful, informal external guidance that tangibly helped me improve an area of my life.

I honestly can’t recall if I ever saw that kid again after that day, but he had a lasting impact on me. I’ll bet you can remember at least one person like that in your life who, in their brief cameo in your story, made a dramatic difference in your thought, action, direction, or development. What if we could hold onto such people, or better yet, intentionally seek them out to add to our network so they become recurring, readily accessible characters, rather than single episode guests? This can and should be an intentional process for any professional as they network build professional relationships & friendships…

5 Ways to Redefine Success in Your Job Search

5 Ways to Redefine Success in Your Job Search

For the average professional, a job search is neither a sprint nor a marathon. For many, it feels more akin to an odyssey. When running a marathon or sprint, we have the psychological safety and assurance of knowing a pre-determined end to our exertion. With an odyssey, we neither know exactly when it will end nor what specific challenges we will encounter. This combination makes it very easy to feel discouraged and/or desperate along the way. Maintaining positivity and motivation through the course of the typical 4-6 month job search is hard enough in normal times -- let alone with the added odyssey-like obstacle of a global pandemic. While the end-goal of attaining a new job is clear, the journey can be quite fraught if your only measure of success in the interim is getting a job offer.

Put another way, if your only measure for job search success is a job offer, anything else will feel like failure. This can be a very damaging mindset given the numerous challenges and myriad factors beyond your control in a typical job search. To be clear, I’m not debating the end goal, I’m proposing establishing additional ways to (re)define success in your job search so that you can tangibly and healthily measure your progress as you go. Here’s what this can look like...

It’s Not Self-Promotion, It’s About Gaining Visibility

It’s Not Self-Promotion, It’s About Gaining Visibility

We all know that friend/acquaintance on social media who seems to be in 24/7 self-promotion mode. Every post or tweet broadcasts their latest achievement, exotic trip, or new purchase. Whether you love, hate, or tolerate what they're doing, they have achieved one main thing -- they have your attention and you know what they’re up to. When it comes to the professional setting, like it or not, similar rules apply. Those who have mastered the art of self-promotion are typically the ones who get ahead faster than those of us who, by nature and/or nurture, are less inclined or even disincentivized to bring attention to our success (POC & women) or even just our simple presence.

Unfortunately, hard work alone is not enough to earn promotion. The critical ingredient that those of us who try to “just keep our heads down and work” are missing, is visibility. If you consider the definition, ‘visibility’ works in two ways:

Do You Believe Your Own Hype?

Do You Believe Your Own Hype?

Do you believe what you are saying?

Do you believe in the value that you offer?

Do you believe that you can make a difference?

Do you believe that your target employer should hire you?

What was your honest, gut response to these questions? Was it a confident and resounding ‘yes’, a hesitant, ‘I think so’, or an anxious/resigned, ‘no’? First, know that wherever you are on this continuum is ok. The most important thing is to locate yourself on it and simply recognize it as your starting point. I recently wrote about the importance of the stories we tell ourselves during the job search, and how they can impact what we believe. I realize that in addition to the content of our beliefs, the strength of our beliefs can significantly influence how we move through the world and how we show up in both our personal and professional lives. The question, ‘Do you believe your own hype?’, is not about whether or not you have an over-inflated self-perception, it’s about how confident you are in your beliefs.

3 Reasons Why Curiosity is Your Key to Authentic Networking

3 Reasons Why Curiosity is Your Key to Authentic Networking

As is increasingly common these days, I met my wife through a dating app -- 'Coffee Meets Bagel', in case you were wondering. In my version of the story, which I’m confident she will back me up on, our relationship started because of my opening question once we connected (evidence below). Before reaching out, I carefully read her profile and came up with a question I sincerely wanted to know the answer to, and that I hoped would be of enough interest/value to her that it might spark a response. Two years and a heap of conversations later, we got married in February 2020. I guess you could say that my question was the catalyst for our connection -- but why...? Because it was borne of genuine curiosity.

Job Searching in the Time of Covid-19: 6 Tips

Job Searching in the Time of Covid-19: 6 Tips

In a matter of a few weeks, the entire world has been flipped upside down by Covid-19. Good news seems hard to find these days, but I hope this one fact brings you some comfort -- though your life may feel strange as you adjust to the temporary, “Covid-19 normal,” the rules of conducting a successful job search remain much the same. In fact, whether you are searching for a new job right now by choice or out of necessity, job searching in the time of Covid-19 may give you one distinct advantage -- extra time.

I don’t mean to overlook anyone’s need to find immediate employment as a result of sudden job loss, but I do wish to highlight that due to the current, all-consuming nature of the pandemic, many businesses are still trying to figure their way forward amidst constantly changing social and economic conditions. Given that employers’ attentions are divided, job seekers may have a bit more time to engage in the self-reflection, direction-finding, research, networking, and marketing necessary to land a job, than under normal circumstances.

3 Ways to Empower Your Network to Help You Land a Job

3 Ways to Empower Your Network to Help You Land a Job

They say that “knowledge is power,” yet far too often, job seekers don’t provide their network with enough knowledge to enable their contacts to help them more effectively in their job search. At the most basic level, the more information we have as humans, the more we are empowered to act in an appropriate and timely manner. This rule applies to both our personal and professional lives. Six of the worst words you can hear either at home or at work are, “I wish you had told me...” -- add to that “sooner” or “more specifically.” Whenever those words have been spoken to me, I immediately felt a sense of regret around what could have been had I shared, more, specifically, or sooner. I don’t want you to feel that sense of regret when it comes to your job search, which is why I’m such a strong proponent of empowering your network → through detailed and timely information sharing.

Why It's Ok to Ask for Help in Your Job Search

Why It's Ok to Ask for Help in Your Job Search

Let’s begin by recognizing and validating that we all have differing relationships with the notion of asking for help. Depending on our personalities, gendered upbringings, family dynamics, and cultural context, we all develop varying levels of affinity toward seeking help when we need it. Some of us don’t hesitate for an instant to reach out when we encounter a challenge, while others only see it as a last resort. No matter where you fall on this continuum, for many, the idea of asking for help during a job search can be a matter fraught with tension and anxiety -- but it doesn’t have to be this way! Job searching is hard no matter who you are simply because so many factors are beyond our control. If you agree with this statement, then I would strongly encourage you to give yourself permission to ask for help during your job search when you need it.

During a recent discussion about networking strategy, my client had several questions about how to approach her contacts. She also expressed concerns about them being either unwilling or unable to help her. After a few instances of her sharing her hesitations about asking people for introductions or to pass her resume along, it became clear that the issue was less about their response and more about her internal apprehension about asking for help in the first place.

When It Comes to Networking, "Just Be a Person"

When It Comes to Networking, "Just Be a Person"

Depending on who you are, you will approach the concept of “networking” with various feelings and preconceived notions based in part on your personal experiences and your overall affinity (or lack thereof) for this critical professional advancement activity. A fundamental question that many job seekers are asking when it comes to networking is, “who/how should I be when I’m out in the world trying to network [to land a job]?” This question isn’t usually voiced overtly, but it underlies the many questions around how they should approach, frame, respond, react, and what they should say, do, expect, etc.,in various scenarios. You know how people occasionally ask you, “what is the best advice you have ever received on ___?” Well, if the fill-in-the-blank was networking, my answer would be:

“Just be a person.”